Little too much

I have no idea what i want in life right now, I dont know where im going with it, i just feel like nothing ever works out for me. I feel like when i have a big chance to do something great i get scared to try and i stop with that plan and try for something else. I dont understand why its so hard for me to do new things i guess im just afraid of failing or never being good enough, I just feel stuck between my past and my future, there are so many things i would love to do with my life, i want to go to school i want to travel to a different country and visit orphanages, I want to be able to have a guy who i wont be afraid to be with and just not be afraid to let people in 100%. But then at the same time i just sit by the window curl up like a ball and just think about how fun things used to be years ago and the great guy i lost because i was too scared to give him a chance. I dont want ot be scared anymore i want to be the confident girl who isnt afraid to try new things and learn new things i want to be the girl people admire and say " Wow she has come a long way to get here". I think i have forgotten what its like to just not always have to make other people happy but to make myself happy, i worry so much about making sure everyone around me is happy i just forget about me and finally i just need to have a mental break down and let everything i had bottled in out. I really want to be my old happy confident Rayna that i know and i know i need to make some changes in my life and that is what i am going to start, im just gonna do things i enjoy and not let people walk over me Im gonna be strong and just live the life that i really want =).

Hope for every fallen man

I finally have decided i needed to update my blog, i have some free time right now, its fabulous.

I was hanging out with my friend Spencer monday night, we went bowling then went and looked at the christmas lights, we had some great conversations on the way drive, i told him i have been struggling with a few things, he just lis

tened to me whine and complain for a few minutes...LOL. he then played 

a song for me which was called

 "Hope for every fallen man" it was just what i needed to hear, some of the lyrics that really stood out to me were,

  Because the Judge of you is someone i could never be, is why you should thank the Lord that it is him, and its not me,

Dont give up its not the end, t

heres hope for every fallen man, to pick themselves up when they think they can,because with every passing second comes a second chance".

I could relate those lyrics so m

uch to

everything that 

i told him that night, it was just what i needed to hear

i have really been so sad these past few months ,

i have been feeling alone and even though im always with

friends i still felt alone, after 

hearing those lyrics

my attitude changed so quick, its true we all will have

a second chance and we shouldnt give up when we get trials

in ours lives, we just need to get right back up on

our feet and keep moving forward.

happy day!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Good friends!

So i have had the best couple days lately, i really have the Bestest friends ever! Tonight i hung out with Jeanie and Rachel, man those girls are crazy i love them to death. We first went to Wal-Mart and got stuff to do facials and we also rented the movie " Made of Honor" from the red box and went back to Jeanie's place to watch it, it is such a funny movie we all loved it and thought it was super cute.

After the movie got over we went to the Olive Garden. The best part of the night was at Olive Garden we were just laughing at everything, we were being super silly and couldnt stop laughing about anything, that is why i always have such a blast when i am with those two girls they are so down to earth and carefree its nice to just go out and not have to worry about anything, so im really grateful to have such good friends who can always make me laugh and are always looking out for me! thanks girls!!